i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
