There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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