If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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