You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
