Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
