She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
