This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
