it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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