I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
