People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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