It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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