I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i already hear my dad disowning me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize