she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
