Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
