Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My balls are so social today.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
