therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize