quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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