Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
