pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
