your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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