You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize