Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
