had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
