if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
