Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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