I haven't been this sober since birth.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
