Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize