So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
