I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
