he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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