I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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