There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
