we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
