I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
