remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
