If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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