I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
