i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
