I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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