We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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