made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
