I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
