I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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