You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
