No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize