I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
