i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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