help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
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