i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
