Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
