i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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