So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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