Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize