I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He kissed a someone with a penis
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
