Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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