I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
