ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
