Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
